One of the most important lessons a parent can learn is when to help a child--and when to step back. And because children grow and change and because life throws us curve balls when least expected, the idea that one could learn this lesson once and for all is, of course, preposterous. Learning when to help and when to step back starts as soon as a baby is born and changes and adapts over the years. Once our children are adults and grown themselves this life lesson continues in new ways.
Sometimes it is good for a child to listen into himself and not to an adult--but as it is equally so that as we are all born flawed, all coming to this earth precisely so that we can learn, a child also needs to learn from his parents and other adults. Finding a balance here is so challenging!
I can remember a situation at the kindergarten where I worked (and later re-founded). There was a very tall tree with lots of convenient branches at frequent intervals, perfect for climbing. The only accidents or near accidents involving that tree ever occurred when parents were present. Even if they weren't calling out 'be careful!!" their nervous energy affected the children who suddenly got scared and let go or refused to climb and got stuck--or became show-offs, climbing further than they were safely able to..
When my son was 16 he wanted to visit friends on the West Coast. So he took a train by himself. He raised the money, he bought the ticket, he organized the trip--and we just let him go. He sat in coach and he met amazing people--it was a life-changing journey for him. And of course there were no cell phones then--but we would never have used them if there had been. If he was going solo, then he was going solo--I would never have called to check on him and never expected him to phone me. Indeed, there was radio silence the entire 3 weeks he was gone until he waltzed into the house a day later than expected. We asked no questions and he offered no answers. All was good.
Anyone care to share thoughts, concerns, experiences about this subject? There is no way that this hasn't been an issue for every single one of you--have a child? Then learning when to help and when to step back is just part of the job description!
Sigh….I’m not going to say we cracked the livestream thing just yet….but I got a new iPad (whole new world for me) and let’s hope I can now easily livestream!!!!!!! I am going to talk a bit about the conference and see if this works….feel free to ask questions or give feedback if you are here now or if (assuming this works) you want to chime in at a later time.
The talks in this series (‘Parenting in Dark Times’) are all related. This one is mainly focused on us, on parents.
If we understand that freedom is a quality which is latent in every human being but can only come to meaningful fruition in adults, then we can support children as they develop, being patient in the trust that freedom takes many years to ripen.
If anyone wants to listen to this and start a conversation, let's do it!!🙂
I was scheduled to give 2 livestreams today, one on 'Balancing on the Abyss' and the other, 'Help from the Spiritual Worlds'. I am unwell, not up to engaging with such full-on content...so apologies to anyone hoping to be present for those livestreams. I will, of course, record those 2 talks at some point very soon and everyone can listen then!
And if anyone has any comments or questions for me to ponder in advance of those talks, I would be very interested in what you might say! I can try to weave in a response as appropriate.
OK....this is the third time I have written a greeting to our newest members and supporters---I keep pinning it to the top and it lingers for a few days and then disappears despite the fact that the pinning I chose was/is permanent!! Grrrrr....
So--hello new folks. I encourage those of you who are supporters to introduce yourselves and say hello! (and hello to new members who are not supporters---you are able to read but not post. Just want you to all know your presence is valued too!)
Do know that locals is very much a work in progress---even in the past couple of months it has gotten a little less glitchy and has improved---but it has a long way to go. Please be patient--and don't feel dumb or weird if you get lost or can't find where things are--it is not a completely intuitive (so to speak) platform...
We're on!!!! Weekend of 10 December at the Threefold Community in Spring Valley NY. This conference is only for people comfortable without masks and such as I need to really connect intimately with people and see their full facial features. Also, this will not be like other Christopherus conferences---there will be a lot more emphasis on coping with the challenges of our times and really getting to grips with how to maintain the health and joy of our families. So it will be pretty full on. It will not be everyone's cup of tea.
Next week we will have a page on the Christopherus website where folks can read through the details--I will be asking folks to read through a few things so that we are all more or less on the same page---it would be good for those not completely in the know about my angle on things to listen to the 6 talks (4 as of writing) that I have recorded.
So.....next week registration opens. All details then! I will announce here (and probably send out a special email to ...
Welcome to the new Christopherus locals group ! This is an experiment which I hope goes well--looking forward to chat and conversation, support and sharing. This place is for all of you to share as Christopherus homeschoolers and to also work with me. Videos and perhaps live chat to follow once I get the hang of this!
Click on this text anywhere and that will open a comment box so you can introduce yourself!